Remembering

So I was reading back through some of my posts and laughed when I came to the reason I started this blog, artists. interviews. how tos....hmmm it seems I have gotten quite far from what I originally intended to do. Oh well...change happens...and really even though I appear off track now I will be reading this post in a year or two and again be laughing because I will have gotten back around to what I had originally planned.  My life is hilarious like that.


Recently I've been procrastinating on getting some of the business stuff...incorporating, insurance, licensing...done.  In the past I worked for a lawyer! I almost went into entertainment law! So why am I dragging my feet?!?!? I keep making mounds of excuses...I need to more time, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where to start.. ad infinitum.  So what's the real reason...I'm afraid of failure.  In the past I have tried a few things that didn't work out so well.  (There were some successes mixed in there too but that's not what's got me worried!) It feels like if I move forward with the legal paperwork I'm making a really big commitment to myself.  Ack my brain is arguing with itself. I write that I'm afraid of failure then I immediately reply with...but I can do this, I'm ready. Besides my definition of failure is not trying...so funny enough, if I don't do the paperwork I will fail.  Damnations.

Wandering

Lately I've been questioning if all of my mood swings are normal.   I swear one day I'm feeling great then the next I want to throw my art away and go get a normal job.  So much great stuff seemed to be happening and now I'm completely confused because less than nothing is happening.  It is like pulling teeth just to get to my art studio these days.  I totally empathize with all the women out there who want to make art their livelihood but struggle with balancing their career with their stay-at-home/family demands.  In my household everyone else's needs are more important...husband has to work more...I lose art time, child has to go to doctor...I lose art time...Heck I even do it to myself...there are times when I haven't spoken to an adult for 72 hours because I've been home with my son ...and I've hung out with a friend instead of going to my art studio.  I'm very very very frustrated.
I am making a public commitment...no more negotiable art time.  If it is time to go to my studio that is where I will be.