Life lessons blah

So I've been happily making my jewelry at a pretty good pace for the last several weeks now :) yay! Well I always give my pieces test wears to make sure they fall right, don't turn, don't scratch, don't break... And well unfortunately every 1 out of 10 hairpins seems to fall apart after a few weeks. Damn. I've spent the last couple of weeks hunting for a more industrial strength glue that doesn't reQuire installing a ventilation hood in my art studio. It's overwhelming how toxic some of the adhesives are! I thought I would just use a quick fix on the hairpins I've already made...a drop of super glue and wah-la. No such luck. The super glue seeped into and onto every part of the hairpin leaving ugly white residue all over them :( so sad. Like 100 hairpins all messed up. Lesson learned...ALWAYS do a test sample before doing an entire batch. Seems pretty obvious as I would apply that knowledge to a material I hadn't used before but superglue...humph. Now I know, test it just in case. So where does that leave me wit the hairpins...I'm going to try and save them...I mean I am an artist and all and creative solutions are my thing! I went to ornamentea and bought diamond glaze...
So I tried it on a few...we'll see the results tomorrow...wish me luck!!!

Progress not perfection

So I did it...I have my first pendant published on etsy. I thought I would be really excited but surprisingly I'm completely underwhelmed. Wtf? I think this is the part where now I feel the anxiety of having to get more stuff up there. I brought my camera to the studio today so I can get some great photos of me wearing my wears but I'm so not wanting to start! Well I'll turn my attention to the positive...I got my business cards on Friday :) and I have all my jewelry in cute little bags with my logo on them. Definitely progress.now the hard part letting go of the perfection piece. I want my photos to be amazing...I am a photographer and all but I've always photographed other people...not used my self timer to photograph me!?! Ok ok enough of my complaining...I need to go take the photos put them up on etsy and move forward. oh and the other little thing I need to do that makes me feel really squirrely...email all my friends and family tonlet them see what I've been doing.
www.lookingglasslane.etsy.com

I'm the interviewed artist!

Told you I'd get back to artists, interviews and how-tos! Ok, well this is, in a round about way... I got a phone call from a journalist and wah-la! Yay!!! I was interviewed by Raleigh Downtowner!!!  http://www.raleighdowntowner.com/  The current issue is out around Raleigh but not yet up online.  

And the how-to part...well I got to do my first demonstration at the CMMAG meeting last thursday :)  It went great...my 4 year old son was there to "help" me. And my art was very well received...it felt so great! I've told myself a million times I don't need validation from other  people to make great art...but it sure helps when other artists I admire like my stuff! 

I'm slowly getting the business aspects of my art done too.  My goal is to have business cards and an etsy site in 2 weeks!  And to satisfy my inner lawyer I'm sending off my photographs to be copyrighted. Woohoo lots to do!!! I'll keep you posted :)

I never would have thought...

My life is hilarious...I think I've mentioned that before :)  So I was working on my next really big re-arrangeable art project when I got distracted by the technique I was developing for the piece. Not just a little distracted like a rest stop on the side of the highway, I mean distracted like I took an exit to stop for gas and ended up buying a house and getting a job.  Yay?!?! SO what am I working on now...jewelry. I've posted photos of the gems I'm making because explaining them doesn't really do justice to the finished pieces.

Remembering

So I was reading back through some of my posts and laughed when I came to the reason I started this blog, artists. interviews. how tos....hmmm it seems I have gotten quite far from what I originally intended to do. Oh well...change happens...and really even though I appear off track now I will be reading this post in a year or two and again be laughing because I will have gotten back around to what I had originally planned.  My life is hilarious like that.


Recently I've been procrastinating on getting some of the business stuff...incorporating, insurance, licensing...done.  In the past I worked for a lawyer! I almost went into entertainment law! So why am I dragging my feet?!?!? I keep making mounds of excuses...I need to more time, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where to start.. ad infinitum.  So what's the real reason...I'm afraid of failure.  In the past I have tried a few things that didn't work out so well.  (There were some successes mixed in there too but that's not what's got me worried!) It feels like if I move forward with the legal paperwork I'm making a really big commitment to myself.  Ack my brain is arguing with itself. I write that I'm afraid of failure then I immediately reply with...but I can do this, I'm ready. Besides my definition of failure is not trying...so funny enough, if I don't do the paperwork I will fail.  Damnations.

Wandering

Lately I've been questioning if all of my mood swings are normal.   I swear one day I'm feeling great then the next I want to throw my art away and go get a normal job.  So much great stuff seemed to be happening and now I'm completely confused because less than nothing is happening.  It is like pulling teeth just to get to my art studio these days.  I totally empathize with all the women out there who want to make art their livelihood but struggle with balancing their career with their stay-at-home/family demands.  In my household everyone else's needs are more important...husband has to work more...I lose art time, child has to go to doctor...I lose art time...Heck I even do it to myself...there are times when I haven't spoken to an adult for 72 hours because I've been home with my son ...and I've hung out with a friend instead of going to my art studio.  I'm very very very frustrated.
I am making a public commitment...no more negotiable art time.  If it is time to go to my studio that is where I will be.

Onward We Happily Trudge

Yesterday "physically" went well...everything on the outside seemed ok...well, less that little tornado scare.   Inspite of reality being as lovely as it was the day before, my head was turning itself sideways.  Current events have caused me to look back at some really really hard times in my not too distant past, things I'd accepted, moved through, and was completely done with.  Still there were those past emotions...the feelings of being scared, unprepared, angry, less-than, broken, crazy, lonely, and overwhelmed.  There was a time when my feelings, running away from my feelings, being terrified of feeling my feelings, drove me to some very self destructive behaviors.  Over the years and with a lot of help, I've learned to talk to someone I trust, accept the uncomfortable emotions, and pray the serenity prayer.  So instead of yesterday being a disaster, I talked to my husband about all the messiness in my head and felt a little better.  Today I'm still feeling a little sad about what happened in my life years before...but it's not a pity sad, just a gentle grieving. Recognizing what I lost, but simultaneously being reminded that I'm a more compassionate and stronger person for my struggles. And with years of hard work, of not backing down or running away, years of looking at my problems, and being willing to live in the solutions, my life today is really good.

So onward I happily trudge, just like all those other people out there who have faced similar struggles.  I'm choosing to love myself and all the challenges that have made me who I am.