What am I doing!?!

I have been asking myself this question a lot recently. I feel like I'm running through the woods at night not sure if the trees look familiar because after awhile trees all look the same or if indeed I am running in circles. (side note... The good news is I do not feel like I am running through the woods in 6 inch heels while a crazy man with a chain saw is after me.) hmmm. Ok back to feeling lost.  Is it possible I have too many options or maybe I have too many options because I don't know what I really want.  Interestingly enough I know what I want in the long run so I guess I'm stuck on how to get there. Yup that feels right... What am I doing.... today to move in the direction of my dreams?  Hmm interesting I wasn't askIng myself the complete question.. No wonder clarity was so elusive!  Woohoo right question now right answer. Well damn all I'm coming up with is to resin my star ornaments, work on wire wrapping, answer emails and write this blog post. I was really hoping to be hit with a stroke of brilliance and drama. I suppose persistence will have to do for now... I'm watching the Avengers movie later that will be all my  hitting and drama for today :)
Off I go to be super persistent girl! Yeah I'll take that.

Fun New Photos of my Jewelry

www.lookingglasslane.etsy.com

Put your one foot in...

Right now I totally feel like the child in the back seat of the car who keeps asking, "Are we there yet?!"'
I am so close I can taste it. Currently I am in the transitional zone between my old life and the new one I have so painstakingly been creating for the past 15 months.  My jewelry is in stores! I have a website (www.lookingglasslane.wix.com/lookingglasslane)! I am getting into juried shows! I have an active etsy site! I'm still not making enough money to cover my expenses! dang.
But I'm sooo close...it actually hurts. I discussed this with a fellow artist/business owner/awesome friend and she validated that indeed the place in-between is uncomfortable and well...icky feeling.  Being patient and thorough is critical but I want to skip that part and run screaming and dancing into "making it".
Countless people have me reminded me that life isn't a destination it's a journey....I know it is but I've been on many long trips and sometimes the ride is a pain in my neck :P
So what do I do to make it to the next phase.... I'm gracefully pouting through the uncomfortable parts of my happy destiny; begrudgingly being grateful for all the daily gifts I receive: and laughing because I'm acting like my five year old.

I'm Not Going To Freak OuT

While birthing my child I had complete and total confidence in myself. I hadn't taken any lamaze classes or read any books about what to do when in labor...I just believed deep within myself that my body would intuitively take over and everything would be wonderful.  The entire experience was amazing...I found an inner strength that reaffirmed that everything was going to be ok.  So how is it that I can gracefully live through that experience but under the pressure of volunteer commitments and work obligations (ALL things I really want to do!) I feel myself melting towards a major freak out!?!?! I keep trying to tell myself it'll all get done, don't worry about it, breath, breath, breath...eekkk still edging towards freaking out.
I want to drink lots of coffee and stay awake all night to get everything off of my to-do list but that is just CrAZiNesS and will definitely lead to a bad day tomorrow. So what do I do? What do I do when the best I can do isn't good enough? Praying for a miracle or divine intervention seems like a really good idea right now!

Ugh...ok first things first. Prioritize.
1. I have over 100 pairs of earrings I have to wire-wrap. To get them all done will take 10-12 hours. I have not done any of them and need some of them for a store meeting tuesday and a show on friday.
If I do a couple hours tonight and the same tomorrow I can be half done with my wire-wrapping. At my studio monday I can resin the finished pairs and put findings on them before my meeting tuesday. manageable  :)
2. I need to make some super awesome pendants for jewelrySPARK.  I can't start those until I get to my studio on Monday so off the table right this minute.
3. Writing instructor contracts for the CMMAG retreat...I sent out the corrections today and am waiting for approval before I send the final drafts to the board. I can spend 30 minutes tonight filling out instructor information then finish the rest tomorrow. manageable.
4. I have 6 posts to various groups about VIP tickets for SPARKcon this will probably only take 30 minutes and I can do it tomorrow.

ok...well I guess those are the really pressing issues I have on my calendar. Everything else on my to-do list has been there for about a week so another week won't make that much of a difference :P

Well now I feel a little better. I guess it was overwhelming if I thought of it as one big mess of stuff to do but parsed out into organized bits it's not too bad...still lots to do but I can now say with confidence
I'm not going to freak out.

Be Here Now

Recently one of my mantras has been...Be Here Now. I even got a piece of art on saturday that has that saying on it.  I need to carry that piece around with me...it's too big to wear as a necklace but I may soon have to.  There are so many things that I want to do but to actually get that much done my days would have to be 40 hours long.  How does one balance work, exercise, friends, playtime, child-rearing, marriage, and downtime? I'm not sure. Maybe no one has a good answer and everyone is just running around pretending to know what they are doing...that's pretty much been what I've been doing for about 5 years now.  So why is my Be Here Now mantra feeling extra important...well because recently while thinking about all I have to do I've missed present opportunities. Or even better...while practicing Be Here Now I've gained serenity.  I can be a bit of a whirling dervish so serenity and sitting still are two gifts I am learning to cherish.
I'm accepting that my to do list will never get done because I always add to it...so instead of focusing all of my time on what I have to do I'm spending a little more time focusing on what I am doing...
listening to my husband play guitar and the snort of giggling pigs as my son plays angry birds, the whir of the fan as it's breeze tickles my ear, the click of the keyboard keys, the sound of the school bus outside...
Now here is the funny part...I feel all serene and while sitting in the stillness of my contentment I have finally found the motivation to clean my bathrooms.  :D

Art makes everything taste better

Recently my life has given me some hard pills to swallow.  Situations have left a very bad taste in my mouth. Thank God for art, the people within the art community and my ever amazing friends who have sweetened my life up again!

Laura and Val at The Center for Creative Leadership that invited and encouraged me to show my jewelry at their facility (and all those there that that have purchased my jewelry!).  

The Visual Art Exchange who offered me a warm welcome when I went to their general Sparkcon meeting http://visualartexchange.org/  Then I went to the Fashionspark meeting and was rejuvenated with the enthusiasm its members.  

Traveling to Pittsboro  I met with Kitty the owner of LiquidAmbar (http://www.liquidambar.com/ 
 and left feeling hopeful and excited. 

Last week I went on a photo adventure with James Roddick who is the uber talented photog who took the photo of me in my last blog post. (http://www.jamesroddickphotography.com) 

On thursday I have my Carolina Mixed Media Art Guild meeting which never fails to put an extra large smile on my face. http://carolinamixedmediaartistsguild.blogspot.com/ 

And I am extra grateful for my husband, a professional musician that totally understands how important creativity is in my life,  who everyday makes sure I get to my art studio, urges me to get out into the art community and believes in me when I don't.

That's a whole lot of people who helped pull me out of this hole.  They didn't even know that their positive words and warm smiles made such a huge difference. Thank you, I never could have done it without you. 

So forward I go seeking more delicious people to traverse this savory, scrumptious, ambrosial, appetizing, delectable, delightful, enticing, exquisite, heavenly, luscious, mouthwatering life.

Moving forward slowly

I go to my art studio about 10 hours a week.  This is not nearly as much time as I would like but my life currently requires that I focus on a plethora of other things...raising my awesome 4 year old, taking care of the house, volunteering, exercising, meeting with friends...you know, life stuff.
With all that said I would like to state that I am making progress...albeit slowly.  I reached a bit of a milestone this past Tuesday...my first photo shoot :) I've been talking with a photographer and make up artist for a few weeks;  coordinating schedules, hashing out ideas, and scouting locations.  We finally pulled it all together and I am thrilled with the results!

The purpose of the shoot for me is to have photos to send with my media kits.  I want to highlight myself and my jewelry...I think the photo does both wonderfully!
Now onto the fun? part of writing articles and sending them to publications...

My Sketchbook Project Book

                                                       This is Hannah. Hannah loves to dance

                                                          And draw                   And paint

                                                         And sew                And take photos.

                   Hannah is very creative but she doesn't know what she wants to do when she grows up.

                                     She has tried lots of different jobs but nothing seems to fit quite right.

                                                     So Hannah prays but nothing happens.

                                                                Hannah is angry and sad.

    This is Hope Hannah's best friend.  When Hannah is sad Hope sings to her and Hannah remembers...

                                             Who she is and what she loves.  Hannah smiles.

                                                                Thank God for Hope.

Interview

Didnt I tell you I'd get back to this interview thing again :) well ok it's another interview about me but different than last time...The Carolina Mixed Media Artist Guild blog posts artist interviews and I'm their subject for January yay!!!!
http://carolinamixedmediaartistsguild.blogspot.com/